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Pairing: Billy Boyd / Philippa Boyens - LOTR RPS
Rating: R
Warning: Heterosexual sex, no slash
Date: February 23, 2003 (minor edits July 5, 2003)
Summary: Why we shouldn't blame Philippa for the Ents in TTT
Feedback: yes please! also constructive criticism of any kind.
Disclaimer: not true, I made it up
Archive: yes, go ahead, please let me know
Notes: A thousand thanks to beta Gloria who made my week when she said it was good.


"Damn, damn, damn, damn!" she yelled. How the hell could Peter do this to the Ents? It was stupid and wrong and everyone would hate it. She stormed around, wanting to break things and scream and cry and kill Peter.

A voice asked "Pip, what's wrong?" It was Billy; they called each other Pip for fun.

She whirled on him and said, "That bastard is going to shoot the version with the Entmoot declining to go to war. He says it's more cinematic that way. It's so wrong and I can't make it stop!"

Billy looked at her with shock and then worry. "Pip, it's not the end of the world", he offered, but she would not be comforted.

"First that damned wizards duel and now this. I think it's that shitty zombie movie he made. I wish he would do it fucking right"

He'd never heard her swear like this, though they'd been friends for months. He wanted to calm her down, felt helpless. "Can we get him to shoot both ways?" he asked.

She took a deep breath and answered "We can try, but he's set on the Stupid Version". They could both hear the capital letters on that one.

"Want me to talk to him?"

"Yes, please, I've tried for days and he won't hear another word from me."

A minute later she said "I need to get the hell out of here, will you come with me?".

"Sure, I'm done for today" he answered, "where do you want to go?"

"How about the beach?" she said, it was light late this time of year and warm enough to swim.

They left her car at the site as she couldn't trust herself to drive. So he stopped at his house, then drove over to hers and they changed. She was a nice armful of woman, he noticed and then tried to stop noticing. But why should he stop? She wasn't much older than him and neither of them were married. So he started noticing again.

She was muttering with anger, still tied up about the stupid plot change that Peter was making. He put a hand on her shoulder, glad that they were in a country where the steering wheel was on the right side. "I'm really sorry he's being such a prat", he said, taking her side, both because she was correct and because he wanted to make her feel better. And feel her better, such a horny bastard he was.

She said "Thanks" and tried to calm down.

They got to the beach and she want straight for the water, swimming hard. When she got a reasonable distance out, she started to angle along the beach, wanting to swim to mindless oblivion. As she turned, she saw Billy right there with her, calmly pacing her and regarding her when he lifted his face.

She paddled a little and said "You don't have to do this"

"I want to, besides, you may need rescuing".

That might have made her mad if he wasn't such a sweet guy.

She swam some more and considered Billy. He was not just sweet, he was kind of interesting. Watching him swim showed a nice body and he was keeping up, even as she was finally working off the adrenaline rush.

Billy watched her watching him. He liked that. He wanted to seduce her with her cooperation, didn't fancy reluctance. She was so bright and funny and articulate, serious with her project to make this movie. He thought she'd be a good lover and felt his cock harden with that, body endorsing the brain's judgment. Her swimsuit showed a plump but firm body, full of nice curves, especially around the boobs and ass. Billy hated the bony model-actress thing, even when accompanied by pneumatic tits, usually fake. Philippa was a bit bigger than his usual lovers but he wasn't scared by that. When they went back, he'd move closer and see if she responded.

It wasn't far from the beach to her house, and he decided not to say anything until they got there. Safer that way. He told her funny stories and decided her laugh was sexy. As they went into her place, he walked a little closer than usual and started to brush the sand off her shoulders.

She tensed and he paused, then she said "Don't stop"

He said "I'm just starting" and took his time.

She made a little inarticulate noise and he knew it could happen, but with a woman like this, he felt words would be vital. "Pip", he said, "May I kiss you?"

She sighed and murmured "Yes, Pip" and then "would you rather be Billy?"

He smiled and said "I like being your Pip" and kissed her tenderly.

What a pleasure to be kissed with competence and ardor. She leaned towards him, responding to the tongue, the lips, the breath. Her arms came out to hold him and found herself being held. She was moving past tender to passionate and intense. She didn't usually get hot this quickly but surprised herself. Maybe she still had some adrenaline in her. She sucked his tongue and ground herself against him. His erect cock against her body told her that this could be hard and fast if she wanted it. She didn't know. His hand was on her ass and his other hand teasing her neck, moving towards her breasts. Maybe she did know.

His Pip was growling and arching and almost scary in her intensity. The stress of the day was showing. He would have to make sure that she still liked him afterwards. He used his voice to ground her, murmured sweet nothings to her, her name, how beautiful she was, how she turned him on. She gentled, still breathing hard but now less feral. He bent his head, licked around her shoulder straps, under the edge of her swimsuit. She moaned and moved her hands skillfully on every part of his body she could reach.

He said "Bed?" and she nodded, leading him by the hand to the airy bedroom in the dusk. Facing him in the room, he felt her go suddenly tense, and thought he had to use all his experience to keep her from getting scared.

He drew her to him, and gathered her in with his hands and arms. "It's good, love", he said, "don't be frightened".

Philippa tried to relax but the tension in her was bursting out. "I'm not frightened, I'm crazy", she said. She liked his hands on her and wanted more, right now. She reached down into his trunks and started touching his cock, knowing it would get his attention. He groaned deep in his throat and moving to the bed, knelt down and began to kiss her breasts. It wasn't enough for her.

She couldn't reach his cock any more and missed it. She peeled off her swimsuit and dragged him onto the bed, reaching for him.

He was a little surprised but moved with her, grabbing her ass and biting her shoulder. They were in sync now, sucking and licking each inch of skin they could reach. She parted her legs and felt her arousal by the cool air on her moist quim. Knowing her own needs, she grabbed his hand and put it on her clitoris, felt herself moaning and breathing hard.

He could feel her clit throbbing under his fingers and her body writhing and knew that she was on the cusp. She was so beautiful and vulnerable and he wanted to protect her as well as screw her brains out. He used the her juices to keep her slippery, worrying about chafing and then not worried any more. She was coming all around his hand and laughing and crying and calling him "Pip, yes, yes", and he was riding up with her.

Then he was on his back and she was on top, reaching away and quickly putting a condom on him and fitting herself around his cock and riding him with her wet warm inwardness. He reached out and held her tight and let his brain go and just exploded into pleasure.

She surfaced when he kissed her again, tenderly and passionately. "Pip, I never knew..." he said.

"Neither did I", she agreed. "and I'm not by any means always like that".

"S'Okay", he said, "It would kill me".

Which one of them said "I wouldn't mind experimenting though"? They never could remember.

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